1. Södermalm Masters (by Joel Burnell)

    By Lars, 18th June 2020

    Friday the 12th June was to provide the Södermalm AFC faithful with an extraordinarily sunny and warm evening (considering it was only a week out from Midsummers eve) at the prestigious Augusta National golf course of Sweden, aka Ågesta 9 hål pay n play.

    The next event on the social ’distancing’ calendar in the wake of no football due to the Covid-19 pandemic was the Södermalm Blue Jacket masters.

    12 sharp Shooter McGoverns, 1 late comer and a Happy Gilmour wannabe (more on that later) were to make up the leaderboard in a best ball pairs competition drawn by ‘random allocation’. 

    Before a ball was to be bashed from the first tee a meet n greet was conducted in the car park with beers and hotdogs thanks to the board for providing such a fitting late luncheon for this prestigious occasion.

    Before play got underway the rules were explained and the contestants eyed up each other’s gear and discussed tactics with their playing partners. All except Condo, Jordansson and Law. The pairing of jordansson and law were all smiles at the good fortune of being the only double seeded pairing and Condo was just concerned of where he would be able to wash his balls…..

    As this reporter was part of the final grouping to tee off most things written from here on in are reported based off word of mouth and the audible shouts of joy or despair that could be heard during the intense competition.

    From the first tee, Law, Condo and Ferguson threw down the gauntlet by producing very fine shots on the green for the rest of us to drool over. This form was to prove misleading however for 2 of those players and their pairing were reeled back into the field by the end of the round.

    Highlights of the round included:

    Andrew ‘Happy’ Smith landing past the green at the 245m par 4 7th hole from the tee box.

    Ironguts Burnell’s berating of playing partner lethal hagberg for missing a 1m bogey put, only to then poke the returning put into the flagstick and have the ball dance around the cup before resting softly only the thickness of a bootlace from he edge of the hole to finish with a disappointing triple bogey and the par 3 5th hole.

    The constant battle between golfer and mosquito. A battle which no contestant really ever became the victor.

    Rappoccio’s Gardening, and gamesmanship on the 9th hole which caused Condo the cover drive a ball back towards the teebox.

    In the end the bookies favourites of Jordansson and Law kept their nerve and fired themselves to an even par 30 over the 9 holes and deservedly claimed the blue Jackets, which is was just as well as bridesmaids Smith and Murphy hadn’t sent their measurements into the tailors to have the jackets adjusted to they varying arm lengths.

    Another enjoyable social event, and who knows, soon enough just after the summer the might even be some footy on the cards (in sweden that is!).

    Glad midsommar, and stay safe, wherever you are!

    Södermalm AFC Championship leaderboard:

    Jordansson/Law – 30 (par)
    Smith/Murphy – 33 (+3)
    Briscoe/Nellbrink – 37 (+7)
    Macca/Ferguson – 38 (+8)
    Condo/Charlie – 39 (+9)
    Burnell/Hagberg – 39 (+9)
    Rappa/THE Johan – 44 (+14)

    3 responses to “Södermalm Masters (by Joel Burnell)”

    1. Bluey says:

      Great read I will win it next year !

    2. Hurt. Very hurt indeed. says:

      Absolutely robbed. Team Murphy / Smith requesting a rematch!!!!!

    3. Condo says:

      Yes my balls were indeed well soiled. They’d played a fair bit from the rough in recent times and seen a fair bit of ground under repair Not to mention rimming a few holes. Due to their size and poor condition a normal ball washer was never going to do, so I was very thankful when Joel lent me his mouth.. came up polished like new!

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